February 19, 2011
January 21, 2011
November 23, 2010
November 14, 2010
May 18, 2010
March 10, 2010
April 27, 2009
IS LIFE HIGH SCHOOL?
Am I still in high school? Threatened by a judge with $5,000 in sanctions for not preparing a brief on time – like being late with your homework. The judge keeps me waiting in court for two hours while he decides what he’s really going to do to me. (tell my parents?) And one of the lawyers on the case (a friend) tells me with a giggle he’s going to hang out in court just to see what the judge is going to do with me.
That same day I get a call from an appeals lawyer representing my former client who got convicted after a jury trial last year. She wants to know why I didn’t object to a question the DA asked the cop on the stand. “I don’t know” She waded into me just like a teacher. “Well what was on your mind?” All I could get out was a mumbled “I don’t know.” If this was on film I’d be looking down at the floor.
The $5,000 in sanctions? The judge settled for making me come back next week.
April 10, 2009
EYE WITNESS
Eye witnesses are a nightmare for me cause they’re so believable. Everyone believes they saw what they say they saw. Even if we read tons of stories in newspapers about some guy getting out of prison after 30 years because some DNA proved that he couldn’t be the guy the eyewitness id’d. Even though we see these reports over and over – you put an eyewitness up there and he says “He’s the guy!” pointing at my client and the jury is going to convict.
Recently in trial – liquor store robbery with guns and a shootout. The witness who is in the shootout says he saw everything, everything down to minute details about how my guy looked.
I ask. “How’s your vision?”
Without hesitation – “Perfect.”
But it looks like one of his eyes is higgly so I ask –
“Is something wrong with your right eye?”
“My right eye? Yeah, it’s a prosthetic.”
September 28, 2008
POWER IN THE COURT
I’m in a rape trial – titanic forces of evil and good crashing against each other.
What’s the Climax of this Cosmic Confrontation for me?
I call a witness and I project a map of southern California onto the big screen for the jury. There’s an issue about the route the alleged victim took to get to Los Angeles where she was allegedly brutally raped by my client. You don’t want to know the details, trust me. I pull out my LASER PEN – I’ve been waiting to do this ever since I got the pen few weeks ago from another lawyer during another trial. But I didn’t have occasion to use it until now, 3 weeks into this trial.
I’m pointing on the map with MY LASER trying to locate Temecula, California and all of a sudden there’s another beam on the map – this beam is coming from the direction of the bench – the Judge.
HIS HONOR has whipped out HIS LASER PEN and he’s pointing it right on Temecula – “thank you your honor”, I say. I’m hoping he’ll back off but no he keeps it right on the map going to all the other cities we’re talking about – San Clemente, San Diego, Riverside, San Bernadino. I’m thinking what am I gonna do? Could I say “Your honor could you just let me use my goddamn LASER?.” No, I couldn’t.
I diplomatically with reluctance withdraw my LASER. The judge finishes up MY PRESENTATION with HIS LASER.
What can you do?
September 12, 2008
YOU’D THINK I KILLED SOMEONE – THAT’S MY ARM IN THE PHOTO
OMG I’m sent out for trial downtown to begin my 7 count forcible rape re-trial. That’s ok but I have a preliminary hearing set the next day in Long Beach. It’s been postponed a few times. And I’ve got another trial set the next week (14 counts of robbery) also in Long Beach. The Judge wants to see me. The DA wants to see me. There I am surrounded by the Judge, the 2 DA’s – the one on the preliminary hearing and the one on the robbery trials. They’re “frustrated”. They’re “upset”. They’re “pissed off”. At ME! Cause “YOU GOT YOURSELF ENGAGED!” (for you non criminal attorneys “being engaged” has nothing to do with marriage or sex. [well, maybe] It means that you can only do one thing at a time. If you’re in a trial well you’re not going to be able to do a preliminary hearing or another trial. That’s what it means. I’m a trial lawyer – I go to trials when some judge tells me I’m going. That’s it. But there I am in Long Beach being accused of “GETTING MYSELF ENGAGED!” That’s exactly what the DA’s say. “Mr. Meyer continues to get himself engaged!” They’re beside themselves with anger. You’d think I’d done all the rapes, carjackings, and kidnappings. Okay so their schedules had to be changed. They work me over good. By the time I slink out of there I am so relieved that I’m still in one piece and not in jail myself, I’m actually really looking forward to the relaxation of fighting my forcible rape trial. 
