May 27, 2009

SQUABBLING LAWYERS

As I was waiting in court for my case to be called, I sat there watching as three lawyers were “addressing” the court and each other.  For a moment I felt like a tv viewer who happened to flip to an unfamiliar sitcom and stick around to see what it was all about.  It took a minute or two to figure out that these two defense attorneys and one prosecutor were simply trying to pick the next court date for their case.  There was always a problem with a particular date.  “No that’s not good for me – I have a conflict on that day.  What about the 4th?”  “Bad day for me counsel, it’s my nephew’s grade school graduation.”  And on and on.  Everyone in that crowded courtroom, including the defendants in custody, the court reporter, the clerk, and the people and lawyers waiting for other cases to be called had to listen to this.  Every once in a while the judge would think there was a date agreed to and eagerly say – “So that’s it?  It’s Thursday, the 6th?” – but no that wouldn’t actually do for one of the attorneys – “I’m set for trial in Compton that day and Judge Cheroske … well you know Cheroske.”   There’s more blither and blather back and forth.  At some point it reaches some plateau where it’s clear to all that some major point of existential absurdity has been reached.  The judge looks down from the bench with a look like “would someone please give me the air bubble?” Okay, I’ll admit it, I too have participated in this kind of special Olympics for lawyers event of “picking a date”.  I had no idea I was so amazing.

May 20, 2009

Yeah Baby!

For some reason this Judge is giving it to this young cocky DA at a preliminary hearing.  I say, giving it to him because being stupid and cocky in a DA doesn’t usually get you in trouble with a Judge.  But there must have been some bad shit between these two.  Because she really got on his tail.  She interrupts him as he questions his witness – in a voice like she was talking to a 4th grader – “Mr. So & So – look at the jury instructions before you present your case so you’ll know the elements you have to prove.  I am tired of having to do your job for you.”  Man she was mad.  And my client’s boyfriend lets out a whoop from the audience.  One for the oppressed yeah!  He’s thrown out of court.  I have to say I enjoyed it too. As long as it wasn’t me.  And then, of course, the Judge held my client to “answer”* and put her in jail.

*answer enough evidence to hold defendant for trial.

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