May 2, 2011
September 24, 2010
May 18, 2010
March 27, 2010
This DA’s a Mensch
The DA on the case transmits the Offer from his Boss, the Supervisor. For all 5 robberies with a gun and my guy’s prior convictions: 19 years in State Prison.
This sounds about right. We don’t have a defense. My guy’s been id’d by just about everybody including his girlfriend for robbing a bunch of cabbies and even a guy waiting for a bus. Just to get some cash so he can get high again. He’s a 50 year old heroin addict schnook, who looks 80, a very nice guy when he’s not high, who has spent half his life in prison. He really just wants to go back home to the joint.
My guy’s gonna take the 19 years. But before we get in front of the judge the DA says – “Wait, don’t take the deal.” I go, what? “If we go to trial all your guy has to do is get up on the stand and testify how it was a bb gun not a real gun. We’re not going to be able to prove the gun. Hold out for something better.”
And the next month the DA comes back with a new Offer from his Boss, the Supervisor. 10 years. Which my guy takes.
December 4, 2009
THE MOST INGENIOUS CLOSING ARGUMENT EVER
Our clients are caught on tape as they get back into their car after doing the robbery. You can see them have to back up several times before finally being able to get out of the parking lot and burn rubber as they peel away. (is that the expression? doesn’t sound right)
My co-counsel tells the jury that since they parked so badly for the getaway (car is blocked in by a couple of other cars) and thus this getaway is the slowest in the history of man, isn’t that an indication they they never intended to do this crime?
I couldn’t help thinking “are you kidding me?” Unfortunately the jury must’ve thought the same. Guilty.
August 26, 2009
What do you expect counsellor?
No matter how many times i ask my clients – please please don’t have your friends in the courtroom audience cause the jury hears about gangs and they get scared. When they see people in the audience who look like what they think gangsters look like they’re going to convict you. You understand what I’m saying? My guy will always say – yes I understand.
And then the next day I’ll look up and see some guy looking like this.
August 25, 2009
GRANDMA HUG
When I started the case the grandma of my client gave me a big bear hug cause she was so happy I was on her grandson’s case and I was so much better than the prior lawyer.
In the middle of the case she’s yelling at me as I leave the courtroom – basically a flow of obsenities leading up to the conclusion “you’re railroading my grandson!!”
When the case ends and miraculously her grandson is getting released from custody and I’m leaving court, she’s waiting for me outside the courtroom with her arms wide open -looks like another hug. I turn back and sneak out the back of the courtroom. Fuck her hugs.
July 2, 2009
LOOKS MAKE THE MAN
LA TIMES story today about guy who allegedly got kicked in the head by cops after a car chase and he’s suing. http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-elmonte24-2009jul24,0,431133.story
The first photo is the way he looked at the time – the second the way he’ll look at trial.
I’ve got guys who will have their heads shaven the day before trial so the jury won’t miss any of their head tattoos.
I’ve actually had a guy who gets a swastika tattoo’d on his face just before trial (seems to be easy to get tattoo services in county jail) I was a little confused and said “You know they got all these gang allegations against you don’t you?” He told me the swastika wasn’t a gang thing. Oh. Cool.
October 29, 2008
Why isn’t the Phil Spector II trial a hit?
September 30, 2008
THE LINE-UP

Have to go to a line-up at Men’s Central Jail the other night. They got a big room set up for this. It’s actually a theater in the jail. An Equity Waiver house of about 100 seats. Its got an elevated stage and a glass partition running through the stage like a curtain. This separates the “actors” (the six inmates, all black, all short hair, all about 5’8”) from the “audience” (the cops, the attorney [me], and the witness for whom this entire production has been set up.)
I wonder how they get these actors. Do they request volunteers? Somehow I doubt it – who would volunteer for the chance to be identified in a lineup for some crime you may not know anything about? Of course all the actors are in jail for something. Maybe they do volunteer out of boredom. Nah.
The room is all very 40’s. There’s the photographer for the Sheriff’s Dept. with the huge camera to document; there’s a set of Flash Gordon dials, round & circular, on a side wall to manage the lights inside the actors side of the partition. When the lights are turned on inside the partition you can see the actors very clearly but they cannot see into the audience. (at least that’s what the “Emcee”– a plainclothes Deputy Sheriff repeatedly tells the witness, a black man wearing a baseball cap.) “They can’t see you, they can’t hear you.” I believe the sound proofing claim cause the photographer had to shout to the Deputy inside to acknowledge that he was done shooting the scene.
The Emcee comes over to me and asks me if I know which one of the six guys is my client. I said “no”. I’d seen my client twice before, briefly, in court. But I wouldn’t be able to pick him out. The Emcee holds up two fingers. It takes me a second to realize he’s giving me the number my guy’s wearing on the front of his jailhouse blues in the lineup. “Oh” I nod that I understand.
They really put those actors through their paces. They got to stand forward, turn around, walk to each side of the stage, sit down, look sideways, turn themselves completely around, turn to one side and then to the other. It’s a whole production. Its amazing how good they are. They respond to the Emcee’s barked instructions like they had rehearsed this show for weeks.
Finally they ask the wit to pick the guy. He shakes his head and throws his hands up. He doesn’t pick anybody. The actors leave the stage through a back exit. And then the audience goes home.
