May 11, 2011
March 25, 2011
December 24, 2010
December 7, 2010
May 1, 2010
August 26, 2009
What do you expect counsellor?
No matter how many times i ask my clients – please please don’t have your friends in the courtroom audience cause the jury hears about gangs and they get scared. When they see people in the audience who look like what they think gangsters look like they’re going to convict you. You understand what I’m saying? My guy will always say – yes I understand.
And then the next day I’ll look up and see some guy looking like this.
August 25, 2009
GRANDMA HUG
When I started the case the grandma of my client gave me a big bear hug cause she was so happy I was on her grandson’s case and I was so much better than the prior lawyer.
In the middle of the case she’s yelling at me as I leave the courtroom – basically a flow of obsenities leading up to the conclusion “you’re railroading my grandson!!”
When the case ends and miraculously her grandson is getting released from custody and I’m leaving court, she’s waiting for me outside the courtroom with her arms wide open -looks like another hug. I turn back and sneak out the back of the courtroom. Fuck her hugs.
April 18, 2009
TOUGH GIG
I’m in court and watch as a judge listens to a man’s brother plead with the judge not to sentence his brother to 25 to life under the 3 strikes law. Although this was the defendant’s 3rd or 4th violent crime conviction, the brother told the judge about his brother’s struggles with drug addiction. His honor had tears in his eyes as he listened. And then he sentenced the defendant to the 25-life.
Later on I saw the judge in the hallway and said “that must have been tough.” He looked at me a little surprised and smiled. “Easy as pie.”
April 16, 2009
DECRIMINALIZE
California prisons are filled to the brim (no pun intended). Why? Because no politician, no judge has ever gotten into trouble for sending “criminals” away for the maximum time possible. BASIC LAW OF BEING A JUDGE OR POLITITICAN. THE TOUGHER YOU SAY YOU ARE ON CRIME THE BETTER YOU WILL DO IN THE POLLS.
Exceptions:
1. prostitution (we arrest them but then let them go unless we can get them on drugs or identity theft et al.)
2. stripping (we don’t even arrest them just for that anymore do we?)
3. Bestiality I actually looked it up. It used to be a MAJOR crime Death & worse – just like we treat child molesters today. (check out the Bible) But guess what? Beastialitists must have had friends in high places because the “crime” has turned into a measly misdemeanor – and then only as part of cruelty to animals statutes.
4. marijuans is another, because the children of politicians and their friends use it as do the politicians.
My wife says I don’t have a point of view: no I don’t think we should put people in prison for prostitution, stripping, bestiality, marijuana either but we shouldn’t put people in prison for as long as we do for many, many, crimes. That’s my pov.
Anyways I needed an excuse to put another photo of a stripper/mug shot up because – for some reason it attracts advertisers. Who would have thought sex sells.
April 14, 2009
COURT CRED
I get cred from courtroom staff depending on the bizzareness of my clients cases.
Whenever I see the Kathie the clerk – in whatever court she is in – her face lights up and we reminisce about a trial over 15 years ago where my client’s wife – County Probation Officer – testified that my client – also a County Probation Officer – wasn’t at that seedy motel on Washington Bl to smoke crack cocaine with a hooker (and later beat her up over a disagreement in their contractual arrangements). The wife knew her husband wasn’t at this motel with the hooker because in truth she was the one at that motel with her husband that night. She explained how they liked to go to a seedy motel on Washington Bl on special occasions. On these occasions, she, the wife, would get up on a table and dance and strip, to spice up the relationship. She stepped down from the witness stand and demonstrated the dance. Unfortunately the jury came back guilty. Which doesn’t matter much now – it’s all about the dance.
