July 18, 2009

Pre Need Legal Services

I’ve been thinking about ways to increase my business which is lousy. I came up with PRE-NEED LEGAL SERVICES. This is for the common citizen. Of course the Mafia and Big Business & Big Government have always had these services but what about people like me and you?

It’s like PRE-NEED burial plots.

I’m not talking about PREPAID Legal Insurance, like Medical Insurance, where you pay for legal services that you may or may not need.

No, PRE-NEED is – if you’re thinking about committing a crime – talk to a lawyer about it first.* I could advise you (based on my daily experiences of seeing people after they’re arrested in criminal courts) of what you need to worry about in order to:

  1. Avoid being caught. For instance, (and this is only one example) don’t brag about the crime to your friends or associates. Seems basic but you’d be surprised at the percentage of persons who can’t seem to keep their mouth shut and end up shackled in court.
  2. Avoid being convicted, if caught. Like, don’t take off your disguise when you rob a STORE as you get closer to the register and the camera. Again, you’d be surprised at how many robbers do.
  3. Minimize your time in prison if you are caught and convicted. Right off the bat (no pun intended) you should know whatever the crime, you’re a lot better off using anything but a gun. That’s because there are all these wacky laws about the use of guns in crimes which increase the time you’ll go away for like crazy. I’m talking the “L” word – “Life”. DON’T USE A GUN – not worth it. There are other weapons available including the aforementioned “bat”.

Just thinking.

*obviously they’ll have to change the law & all those ethical rules about not being allowed to counsel a future crime but these are tough economic times; lawyers are losing their jobs left & right.

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