May 11, 2009


there’s the judge that is always kvetching from the bench (how this friend owes him money and won’t pay him; how a contractor screwed him; how you can’t trust people anymore – this is during jury selection). then there are the jurists who:
  • go crazy when you walk into the “well”*;
  • go crazy when you “approach a witness” without asking “may I approach the witness?”;
  • go crazy when you ask “may I approach the witness?” and yell at you for asking;
  • go crazy when you call them “judge” instead of “Your Honor”;
  • go crazy when you wear a sweater that obscures your tie and they think you’re trying to pull a fast one and not wear a tie in court;
  • go crazy when you don’t stand up when you address** “the court”.
*area in front of the judge’s bench – where His Excellency sits **you never talk to a judge – you always “address the court”

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