Half the time i’m fighting with my guys because i want him to take the deal. “You’re going to lose if you go to trial. Take the deal, it’s alot better than the judge will give you after the jury convicts you.” Then he’s upset because “you’re my lawyer and you don’t believe me!”
And the other half it’s like hang on, what’s your hurry to take the deal? You’ve got a great case. They’ll never be able to convict. But he doesn’t believe me.
We’re in the judge’s chambers in the middle of a trial. We’ve gone back there to argue about 
an objection the DA is making to something I was asking his witness. I don’t understand the point the prosecutor is making. Don’t think the judge does either because he repeats everything the DA is saying like it’s a puzzle and he keeps adding pieces to the puzzle. This was supposed to take a minute – the jury is waiting in the courtroom – but its stretching out to twenty minutes.
My mind is wandering. I don’t care what the ruling is just please let’s get out of here the standing up while the thing is being discussed to death is killing me. I can’t take the standing – my hips ache. The judge doesn’t care. He’s sitting on a little stool in between me and the DA like a midget referee.
I’ve totally tuned out. Should I take my dog for a walk when I get home or should I work out? It’s been awhile since I worked out but Louie my dog hasn’t been on a walk forever. The walk can be a work out couldn’t it? Boy, this chambers is like a man’s den you’d see on Father Knows Best, lots of leather. I’m sure it’s “decorated”. Did he do it? Nah his wife must have decorated. I wouldn’t mind having an office like this…
The judge is talking like he’s winding up. He does. He gets up from his stool. Shit I missed it. What did he say?
“Oh” I say “can you repeat your ruling your honor?” He stands up and puts his face right up to my face our noses almost touching. I can feel him breathing. He holds my arms in his hands so I can’t move. What’s he going to do? Beat me up? Put a knife in my gut? This judge is crazy he could do anything.
In a loud voice he carefully enunciates – “I want you to listen carefully to my rulings do you understand me?” “Yes your honor.” I follow him out of chambers into the courtroom like a chastened schoolboy.
He scared the hell out of me.
I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! All the tzures, heartache and emotional turmoil because they’re being asked to serve on a jury to decide the guilty of my black client accused of receiving stolen property.
she’s in university for a psychology degree. wants to help drug addicts. her brother was mentally ill and treated with drugs by doctors and screwed up his life. that’s why she can’t serve on this jury. huh?
he says the cops are always harassing him because he’s Hispanic. busted for DUI in Inglewood because of that. can’t be on jury cause hates cops.
she, the math teacher says cops are always giving her speeding tickets because she’s Asian. can’t be on jury where cop testifies.
she’s the ex-wife of a judge – can’t serve cause her niece was attacked by a bunch of “African American” girls in Vegas and she couldn’t be fair to the defendant, poor dear.
she had her house burglarized thirty years ago and never recovered from the trauma. couldn’t be fair to the defendant.
her son was arrested, convicted and sent to prison for armed robbery and can never believe a cop cause it was her son’s first time.
her husband’s a lawyer and she wouldn’t trust any witnesses called by the lawyers cause she knows they’re all paid to lie.
she’s a 4th stage lung cancer victim who also has a brain tumor. She actually would love to serve on the jury but wondered if her loss of short term memory (can’t remember anything after 2 hours) might be a problem.
The DA on the case transmits the Offer from his Boss, the Supervisor. For all 5 robberies with a gun and my guy’s prior convictions: 19 years in State Prison.
This sounds about right. We don’t have a defense. My guy’s been id’d by just about everybody including his girlfriend for robbing a bunch of cabbies and even a guy waiting for a bus. Just to get some cash so he can get high again. He’s a 50 year old heroin addict schnook, who looks 80, a very nice guy when he’s not high, who has spent half his life in prison. He really just wants to go back home to the joint.
My guy’s gonna take the 19 years. But before we get in front of the judge the DA says – “Wait, don’t take the deal.” I go, what? “If we go to trial all your guy has to do is get up on the stand and testify how it was a bb gun not a real gun. We’re not going to be able to prove the gun. Hold out for something better.”
And the next month the DA comes back with a new Offer from his Boss, the Supervisor. 10 years. Which my guy takes.
“I AIN’T WAIVING SHIT!” This has got to be on the top of the top 40.
Ah, how many times have I heard this delightful riposte to my gentle inquiry of my client about giving me, his lawyer, just a little more time to prepare his case.
And what can one say when faced with “I want my speedy trial rights.” “Go fuck yourself?” This is not a winning strategy I can attest.
And if as happens sometimes it’s because of another lawyer who’s scheduled a vacation (never me i can assure you) or even the convenience of a stinking DA. Then even I might join in with “we ain’t waiving shit!”
my guy looks so young and innocent.
another lawyer came up to me and said
she couldn’t believe this kid could have been
convicted of several attempted murders. he’s the picture of innocence.
but then there’s the damn evidence.
Our clients are caught on tape as they get back into their car after doing the robbery. You can see them have to back up several times before finally being able to get out of the parking lot and burn rubber as they peel away. (is that the expression? doesn’t sound right)
My co-counsel tells the jury that since they parked so badly for the getaway (car is blocked in by a couple of other cars) and thus this getaway is the slowest in the history of man, isn’t that an indication they they never intended to do this crime?
I couldn’t help thinking “are you kidding me?” Unfortunately the jury must’ve thought the same. Guilty.
Powered by WordPress | Site design by Tracy Berna
