May 1, 2010
April 27, 2010
i can’t get no respect part xviii
Half the time i’m fighting with my guys because i want him to take the deal. “You’re going to lose if you go to trial. Take the deal, it’s alot better than the judge will give you after the jury convicts you.” Then he’s upset because “you’re my lawyer and you don’t believe me!”
And the other half it’s like hang on, what’s your hurry to take the deal? You’ve got a great case. They’ll never be able to convict. But he doesn’t believe me.
March 27, 2010
This DA’s a Mensch
The DA on the case transmits the Offer from his Boss, the Supervisor. For all 5 robberies with a gun and my guy’s prior convictions: 19 years in State Prison.
This sounds about right. We don’t have a defense. My guy’s been id’d by just about everybody including his girlfriend for robbing a bunch of cabbies and even a guy waiting for a bus. Just to get some cash so he can get high again. He’s a 50 year old heroin addict schnook, who looks 80, a very nice guy when he’s not high, who has spent half his life in prison. He really just wants to go back home to the joint.
My guy’s gonna take the 19 years. But before we get in front of the judge the DA says – “Wait, don’t take the deal.” I go, what? “If we go to trial all your guy has to do is get up on the stand and testify how it was a bb gun not a real gun. We’re not going to be able to prove the gun. Hold out for something better.”
And the next month the DA comes back with a new Offer from his Boss, the Supervisor. 10 years. Which my guy takes.
February 1, 2010
FAVORITE LEGALISMS PART I
“I AIN’T WAIVING SHIT!” This has got to be on the top of the top 40.
Ah, how many times have I heard this delightful riposte to my gentle inquiry of my client about giving me, his lawyer, just a little more time to prepare his case.
And what can one say when faced with “I want my speedy trial rights.” “Go fuck yourself?” This is not a winning strategy I can attest.
And if as happens sometimes it’s because of another lawyer who’s scheduled a vacation (never me i can assure you) or even the convenience of a stinking DA. Then even I might join in with “we ain’t waiving shit!”
January 19, 2010
December 16, 2009
my client the choir boy
my guy looks so young and innocent.
another lawyer came up to me and said
she couldn’t believe this kid could have been
convicted of several attempted murders. he’s the picture of innocence.
but then there’s the damn evidence.
December 7, 2009
STATE APPOINTED ATTORNEY
“I don’t want you – I want a state appointed attorney!” my client screams at me within 10 seconds of meeting him in the holding cell of div 30 right after I asked “why were you arrested?”
“Okay, I hear you,” I say and pause a moment. Then, I volunteer as if I’ve just discovered this information and I’m as surprised as he “I am a state appointed attorney.”
“Oh” he says. The interview goes much better from there.
December 4, 2009
THE MOST INGENIOUS CLOSING ARGUMENT EVER
Our clients are caught on tape as they get back into their car after doing the robbery. You can see them have to back up several times before finally being able to get out of the parking lot and burn rubber as they peel away. (is that the expression? doesn’t sound right)
My co-counsel tells the jury that since they parked so badly for the getaway (car is blocked in by a couple of other cars) and thus this getaway is the slowest in the history of man, isn’t that an indication they they never intended to do this crime?
I couldn’t help thinking “are you kidding me?” Unfortunately the jury must’ve thought the same. Guilty.
