Walking into a courtroom, seeing a man or a woman sitting higher up than me, wearing a black robe with a name plate saying “JUDGE” is all it takes to make me into a blithering toady. It’s my default position. I’m an impossible obey the rules conformist. I hate it. I don’t want to be. I really don’t. Sure I believe in Respecting the Institution and the Office but only on the outside. You Exhibit Respect and Kowtow because it’s the right thing to do. You can’t have a justice system if the institution isn’t held high. Sure.

But on the inside I want to be a liberated soul on earth – a rebel refusing to recognize the inequality of men. But put me in a courtroom, and I become an authority worshipping pussy. My therapist would say I project my FATHER up there wearing the judge’s robes. I’m actually scared of the guy up there. Or the lady.

And the weird thing is I always assume a judge is smarter than me and knows the law better. And is just plain smarter. He’s a judge right? So when I encounter a judge who’s so patently stupid and clearly knows nothing about anything let enough of the law I don’t know how to react. Especially if he’s a nice guy. Can a judge be that dumb? Evidently yes according to all the available evidence.