BENEFIT PERFORMANCE Help Save the Santa Monica Playhouse IT’S CRIMINAL! the comedy (getting people off & other legal fantasies) Written & Performed by Murray Meyer Directed by Laurel Ollstein The Santa Monica Playhouse 1211 4th Street, Santa Monica (between Wilshire & Arizona) SATURDAY, OCT 17, 2009 @8pm $16 RESERVATIONS: 310-394 9779 EXT 1 santamonicaplayhouse.com SANTA MONICA PLAYHOUSE 1211 4th Street, Santa Monica 90401 (between Wilshire & Arizona, one block east of the Third Street Promenade) MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS ASAP -LIMITED SEATING TIX $16 310 394 9779 EXT 1

That pretty school teacher juror won’t look at me while I make my closing argument. I keep on trying for some eye contact. Just a smidgen of eye contact that’s all I want. I’m standing less than 3 feet away from her – she’s in the front row of the jury box. I’m looking right at her. She’s looking down at her lap; she’s looking up like maybe it started to rain and there’s a hole in the roof; she’s looking at the other jurors; “could you look at me once just for form’s sake? I know you think my guy did it – there is a ton of evidence against him – but this is a trial – you’re not supposed to make up your mind until the fat lady sings. Can’t you pretend for a couple of seconds – make believe that you’re open to hearing what the defendant’s lawyer has to say? Who’s it going to hurt?” Kind of reminds of that time I had to dance with a girl and I turned my head away from her the entire dance because I was so embaressed to be seen dancing with a girl. 12 years old? 32? I’m making some good points for god’s sakes. But she won’t look at me. Then the DA gets up to rebut and she’s locking eyes with him the whole time. My guy’s in trouble. Maybe it’s a personal thing? I mean the DA is tall, young and handsome, is such a nice guy and speaks so well; and I’m …

I watch a pro per* defendant cross-examine his former girlfriend who’s testifying how he had kidnapped and assaulted her. He asks – “Why do you think the defendant would do something like that in broad daylight when he’s facing a third strike?” and she, without hesitation, answers: “Because you’re an idiot.” *representing himself